


Twenty Questions

by angeldescendant



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Ash and Eiji are exes, Drinking Games, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Reunion, play format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 07:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18115859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeldescendant/pseuds/angeldescendant
Summary: In a dingy hotel room en route to Ibe's wedding, Ash and Eiji play twenty questions.Only, they have been exes for years and it's the first time they've seen each other since New York.





	Twenty Questions

**Author's Note:**

> Additional Notes:
> 
> -References to canon  
> -Sing and Akira are married; so are Max and Jess  
> -Ash didn't die if it's not too obvious  
> -Ash and Eiji had broken up for years now.  
> -EDITED the type of alcohol lmao sorry about that

**CHARACTERS**

**Ash** 32. Part-time commercial model, full-time hot-shot consultant in Wall Street.

 **Eiji** 34. Freelance photographer. Exes with Ash. 2 years ahead of Ash.

 

* * *

 

**SETTING**

Evening. Small hotel room en route to Kamakura. Smaller window overlooking the beach. Eiji is lying in a single bed while Ash is spreading a blanket over the floor on his right.

 

* * *

 

EIJI Come here. The bed’s big enough for the two of us. Your bosses will kill me if they find out what I’m doing to you, their prized kitten.

 

ASH Fuck off Eiji. The last time I need is to smell your dogbreath in my face again.

 

EIJI (Pouts) At least I don’t talk in my sleep!

 

ASH At least I don’t push people off their beds. I’m fine, thank you for that convincing display of hospitality.

 

EIJI I’ll give you a taste of hospitality you son of a bitch. (scrolls through his phone) Ibe-san can’t pick us up. Too busy with the prep. Max isn’t replying too. Must be on the plane.

 

ASH Remind me again why you didn’t think this through?

 

EIJI Well sorry, I had three shoots for the past few days. You only told me you were coming, uh let’s see, two days ago just after you landed?

 

ASH You weren’t answering your LINE.

 

EIJI You texted Ibe-san a week ago you weren’t coming.

 

ASH That was past me.

 

EIJI Well past you is a bitch to deal with. (Exhales) Look, I’m sorry, I’m losing it again (Massages bridge of his nose, takes off his glasses). You could’ve come along with Sing and Aki-chan.

 

ASH Yeah, then I wouldn’t have you spitting on me through that rotten mouth of yours.

 

EIJI Gosh, I don’t want to fight anymore (laughs). You win, again.

 

ASH Nah, look, uh, fine, I’ll share the bed.

 

EIJI No funny business alright?

 

ASH God we’re not kids anymore Eiji. I know when to draw the line.

 

(Silence. Eiji scoots over as Ash on his right. The moon is rising through the window)

 

EIJI Remember the time we first shared a bed together, back at your brother’s house?

 

ASH God when was that? Fifteen years ago?

 

EIJI I can’t believe you forgot. (laughs) Shorter really did us in.

 

ASH Did us in, how?

 

EIJI Asked us if we’re bored and if we wanted to play a game.

 

ASH Shit, holy shit, I remember, that fucking asshole, handcuffing us without warning-

 

EIJI (Lowering his voice, mimicking a person, but doing a terrible job) _My name is Shorter and I am Chinese throwaway character-_

 

ASH Holy shit Eiji (laughs)

 

EIJI (Lowers voice further, his mimicking job still terrible) _I want us to play a game. If you manage to survive a day handcuffed to each other_ , _I will yadda yadda yadda, I am Chinese and will die next week, whatever-_

 

ASH Deserves a Golden Globe, you thespian-

 

EIJI I forgot the rest, alright? Must involve skinny dipping or that chicken pilfering, it’s been too long.

 

ASH We were supposed to play another game too… But first (takes out his bag and brings out a litre of Chivas Regal Cordon Bleu)

 

EIJI I’ll pretend to be shocked (puts hands over mouth) I knew it.

 

ASH (takes out plastic cups from his bag and pours Eiji one) No sex.

 

EIJI Tell me something true.

 

ASH Are you scared of me, _onii-chan_?

 

EIJI God, I hate it when you say that.

 

ASH And I hate it when you don’t act like your adorable dumbass self…

 

EIJI Shut up (sips his cup)

 

ASH Ooohh, how naughty _onii-chan_ (sips his). So the game’s 20 questions: I ask you one, then you’ll ask me one; ten questions each. It can be anything. But the thing is, you can’t repeat a question.

 

EIJI Hmm, something smells. You sure you took a bath during your flight?

 

ASH And no one’s allowed to lie.

 

EIJI So Shorter really asked us to play this?

 

ASH (Shrugs) It’s ok to chicken out. I totally understand.

 

EIJI (Pours self more whisky) What are you talking about? Let’s do it. But I’ll ask the last question.

 

ASH Whatever floats your boat… I’ll win this game anyway.

 

EIJI Oh really?

 

ASH Hmm… Ok, I’ll go easy with question 1: Did you ever bone Mizuno?

 

EIJI What the fuck? You call that question easy?

 

ASH This is the advantage of breaking up with you, I suppose. Tick-tock onii-chan… don’t tell me you’re giving up before the game even started…

 

EIJI (Rolls eyes) Jesus, I can’t believe you remember him. You still mad about that?

 

ASH Mad that you ditched a day when I visited to meet with that smug fucker? I’m over it.

 

EIJI How convincing… Here’s my answer: No. I was only able to talk to him when I returned to Japan. We’re too different. Didn’t push through with pole-vaulting after the qualifiers, no thank you NYC for my legs. 

 

ASH So you never had a crush on him ever?

 

EIJI I thought one question at a time. (Notices Ash’s bag buzzing) You’re not gonna pick that up?

 

ASH Is that your question?

 

EIJI No, uh, well, sorry for not minding my own business (pouts).

 

ASH It’s fine. I missed that, I guess. Been awhile since I’ve had someone nagging me.

 

EIJI Oh stop it, you’re making me blush.

 

ASH God you’ve become more annoying (massages his nose). Continue.

 

EIJI Uhm… How do you see yourself five years from now?

 

ASH (Grins) Do you really expect to win this game?

 

EIJI Shut up, just answer the question.

 

ASH Hmm… Maybe sleeping in a chalet in the Swiss Alps? Working with power-hungry neoliberals just pisses me off.

 

EIJI You sound like an old man already.

 

ASH You notice these wrinkles old chap (points at his face)? You have like, a hundred more?

 

EIJI (Laughs) Can’t believe your answer’s… boring.

 

ASH I expected a better adjective from you (laughs).

 

EIJI What about your modelling stint? Saw you in Vogue Italia last year.

 

ASH Fashion industry’s worse than Wall Street. Don’t tell me you haven’t worked with those assholes.

 

EIJI I have (laughs). Quite cut-throat.

 

ASH Tell me about it. One of them was asking for some favours in exchange for a role in some Marvel Movie. Must be the asshole who keeps messaging me.

 

EIJI Oh, ok. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-

 

ASH Remember when we went to your old high school? Would want to wear a uniform and be a student like that… joining a club and eating at some expensive café after school… joining a student council-

 

EIJI Trust me, it’s way boring than the anime I watch.

 

ASH I don’t care (laughs) I’m already thirty-two and I still want to go to school... Nothing gets out of this room, alright? Wouldn’t want Sing and that snake to find out.

 

EIJI That’s fine. You can go to school here though. I can arrange it.

 

ASH Nah, it’s fine (laughs). I’m ok with these kinds of shit, I guess. Visiting old acquaintances, getting out of America for something other than business trips…

 

EIJI (Laughs) You’re more of an old man than onii-chan now.

 

ASH Whatever, it’s my turn.

 

EIJI (Pours self a cup) Fire away.

 

ASH Who would you want to fuck the most in all of NYC?

 

EIJI You really have an affinity for sex, you know that? Ok, just to clarify, M or F?

 

ASH (Laughs) What the fuck?

 

EIJI (Laughs) This is just a hypothetical scenario… but (laughs harder) I’d want Shorter to fuck me.

 

ASH I knew it!

 

EIJI What? He was always manhandling me… And to clarify, it’s only a hypothetical scenario. All thought, no action, alright? My turn-

 

ASH Wait so nothing ever happened between you two or-

 

EIJI My turn! (drinks cup) Were you and Shorter really just friends?

 

ASH You just repeated my question.

 

EIJI Were you listening Aslan Callenreese? Or is that a sign of weakness?

 

ASH I will win this game no matter what hem and haw you try Eiji Okumura. And to answer your question, yes, because Shorter is too cool to sink that low.

 

EIJI Sink that low?

 

ASH We made fun about it. It is kind of weird now… then too (laughs). We thought about fucking just for the heck of it, y’know? But we never tried. He never forced me or anything. But he did do a lot of chicks… and not-chicks… His gun was hella greased all the time.

 

EIJI (Laughs) RIP Shorter

 

ASH (Laughs) Rest in Pussies or Penises, you damn bi-legend.

 

EIJI (Wipes his eyes) What about Alex?

 

ASH Hell no. Don’t want any relationship with my men. Things might get complicated.

 

EIJI Alex was pretty fine though.

 

ASH I can’t believe you said that.

 

EIJI What? He is.

 

ASH Oh my god, can’t wait to see how Alex will react if I tell him-

 

EIJI Don’t forget our promise you slimy bastard. Pour me one again, please.

 

(Ash half-fills his cup)

 

EIJI More. And I swear to god, if your next question is about sex again…

 

ASH I heard you the first time, _onii-chan._ Kay, so who are you dating now? Jesus Eiji, you spat on the fucking blankets!

 

EIJI Wait hold up, is my little brother jealous?

 

ASH (Wipes his blanket disgustingly) I was just wondering since I’m pretty sure you blocked me in Facebook and the rest of your social media accounts…

 

EIJI Yup you’re green with envy.

 

ASH Just answer my question.

 

EIJI No one, you flippant fucktard. So what about you? Who are you dating now?

 

ASH You’re breaking the rules already (winks) My, my, my onii-chan that’s strike two.

 

EIJI I beg your pardon?

 

ASH Is that your question?

 

EIJI Ok fine you son of a bitch. What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did?

 

ASH Wait so is this the traumatic angle or the tame-for-the-ears angle?

 

EIJI The latter because I’m not your therapist.

 

ASH (Blows a raspberry) Jesus remind me again to never invite you to parties.

 

EIJI Since when did you invite me to anything? You had grown a habit of ditching me.

 

ASH Now is not really the time… I’ll answer your question. (Quiet. Drinks his cup before laughing) I think… it has to be Central Park, ten years ago, spring.

 

EIJI Wait, when was this again?

 

ASH I think we had one of those big fights. Can’t remember the details, but I ran away again the night before. I know you’ll look for me in the library, or Chinatown, or in our old haunts, so I went to Central Park near the lake, under the willow tree.

 

EIJI I can’t remember, sorry.

 

ASH I think it took you more than half a day before you found me? Just before sunrise. You were fuming so much. I couldn’t take you seriously even when you were furious, you know that?

 

EIJI (Laughs) You never did take me seriously.

 

ASH I really thought it was over then when you started to cry. Doesn’t really ring a bell to you? At all? You were all snotty and hysterical and strangely adorable. Kept telling me that if that library thing repeats itself you’ll go ballistic.

 

EIJI I can’t believe you still thought I was adorable. I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

 

ASH I forgot one more thing. I think I was naked at the time? And police were coming up because they thought I was a corpse or something and then they saw this same damn whisky that I was cradling beside me. You should’ve seen the look on Charlie’s face.

 

EIJI You remember how I woke you up then?

 

ASH You kissed me, didn’t you?

 

EIJI I slobbered your lips with snot, you idiot. I was crying too much. Thought you were dead.

 

ASH He remembers!

 

EIJI And then we rutted the hell out of Central Park that night. Scared a ton of homeless people with our caterwauling (snickers). God, I can’t believe we did that. We actually did that (laughs). It’s a miracle we didn’t get caught.

 

ASH Yeah. It’s a miracle you found me too (laughs, turns his head at Eiji, who quickly turns to face his left).

 

EIJI It’s your turn.

 

ASH Right, uh… Can you describe your… sexual orientation?

 

EIJI Wait like who I prefer, something like that?

 

ASH Obviously, doofus.

 

EIJI Ok chill. Hmm… I don’t honestly know.

 

ASH You were a popular kid during your time in school right? Never really had a girlfriend or something like that?

 

EIJI (Laughs) Nope. You’re the only one unlucky enough to come into my parlour, my poor, unwitting fly.

 

ASH I don’t believe it.

 

EIJI Never really thought about that honestly… You’re a nonsignificant statistic, not enough samples to test out whether I’m gay or not… Should it matter?

 

ASH Yeah, sorry I asked. It’s been in my mind for a long time now and… yeah… (Turns away too)

 

EIJI My parents made a big deal out of it though. I guess that’s one of the main reasons why, you know, you couldn’t go to Japan a third time.

 

ASH What’s new? They couldn’t even look at me the first time. At least the soba was good. And your mom’s natto was… edible.

 

EIJI (Laughs) That’s true. You already know how it’s like in Japan. It’s a swamp out here. Either you assimilate or it swallows you up without mercy either way.

 

ASH I did try though.

 

EIJI You did. Dialect’s tough.

 

ASH I liked wearing your bathrobes though.

 

EIJI You wore a summer kimono during winter, you dolt.

 

ASH (Laughs) And swam on the beach with it. Your mom was prepared to explode. Like pwoosh (opens palms of hands slowly)

 

EIJI Can’t believe them though. That time, they told me not to think about marrying yet and now they’re asking me when they’ll have a grandson. My sister’s not even married yet (laughs).

 

ASH She has a fiancée then?

 

EIJI I guess? I haven’t seen her or the rest of them in awhile. I always text and come home during _Obon_ but that’s it (nudges Ash for the bottle and pours self more drink). Doesn’t really feel like home anymore. I can understand you a little now since you told me that.

 

ASH You should ask about the wedding though. You have that bouquet catching thing going on there like with Max and Jess? Or Akira and Sing?

 

EIJI We don’t (laughs). You looked good in your tux by the way.

 

ASH Was about to upstage the groom but we can’t have that.

 

EIJI The church was swarming with Yue’s bodyguards (laughs). Talk about extra.

 

ASH (Laughs) Yeah, because of that I wasn’t able to see you.

 

EIJI No more Japanese klutz.

 

ASH No more Japanese klutz (drinks). It’s your turn.

 

EIJI Who was your best lay?

 

ASH Now we’re talking. Spoiler though: It’s wasn’t you.

 

EIJI You fucking liar. You said during our time with Sing that was the best shit ever.

 

ASH Correction: Best threesome ever. Trust me, men fifty and above don’t know how to use mouthwash (shudders).

 

EIJI So my breath doesn’t smell bad most of the time (winks)

 

ASH Yeah, you don’t ok.

 

EIJI Wait, answer the question first. Hmm… was this the girl?

 

ASH Yes.

 

EIJI So you do prefer clits more than-

 

ASH Jesus, you’ve become so fucking vulgar god, and it’s not like that. Dunno (rubs nose bridge again). I was fourteen, and she was my first. It was… great. It’s quite hazy now (laughs). Didn’t expect us to bring her up, uh-

 

EIJI Remember the rules, little brother.

 

ASH God still so fucking persistent…

 

EIJI What was it like? How different is it from fucking me? Don’t look at me like that!

 

ASH You jelly?

 

EIJI Depends on what kind of jelly we’re talking about. You just never talked about her that much.

 

ASH Why should I? That’s an unspoken rule for SO’s.

 

EIJI We’re not together though.

 

ASH She’s… She was my best friend I guess. Only a few months’ older than me. Arthur had feelings for her.

 

EIJI Oh so that’s why he-

 

ASH No not like that. I meant they were awfully close. Imagine that bastard smiling. Not the demented one. Like that. Like this. It’s… hmm… I can’t remember how she looks like now, or what exactly happened to her. It’s like this… there’s this empty space when I try to recall what her hair looks like, what her voice sounds like, or even how her hands feel. I just remember being at peace the first time I slept with her (laughs). Nevermind, it’s a stupid memory.

 

EIJI No it’s not.

 

ASH (Laughs) Eiji it is. I can’t even remember much. Like someone drilled a hole in my brain and took whatever recollection I had of her, the smell of her neck, her shampoo… I’m sorry, it’s such a lousy story-

 

EIJI It’s not. Come here (turns at Ash, opens his arms out wide)

 

ASH We’re too old for this (wipes his eyes)

 

EIJI (Smiles) There’s still some space in this tiny heart of mine for you to scoot over.

 

ASH (Laughs) You’re impossible you know.

 

EIJI I do (laughs).

 

ASH (Returns his embrace. Both are silent) God, you’re making it worse (Laughs as he rubs his eyes)

 

EIJI You loved her. That’s why you’re crying.

 

ASH I never thought I’d shed tears for her, even though she seems so far away now.

 

EIJI (Laughs) Guess I was right then. You don’t need me to prove you’re human like the rest of us.

 

ASH (Slowly loosens his grip and extends his arms towards the cup and bottle) It’s my turn then (rubs his eyes again). God, it won’t stop. It’s all your fault, Eiji! Fuck you.

 

EIJI You’re still a little kid.

 

(Eiji waits as Ash wipes his tears)

 

ASH God let me be a brat when I’m with you (lowers his bottle and drinks the cup; offers Eiji his own share. Both clink cups). My turn, for real. Why did you choose to cut your hair?

 

EIJI It was getting unmanageable. You thought it was because we broke up, eh?

 

ASH (Turns away) Of course not! What are you accusing me of?

 

EIJI (Grins) Whatever Ash. Sing and the others were flipping like crazy when they saw me like this. Kept taking photos during my last visit-

 

ASH You went to New York and you never told me.

 

EIJI Aren’t you an onion-skinned sour grape? You were the one who said we shouldn’t see each other after breaking up.

 

ASH You already said that past me is a bitch! Don’t listen to past me.

 

EIJI Past you was a bitch. God, demanding break-up sex while I was packing up… we wrecked the bed. You still haven’t paid for the bed.

 

ASH If you were kind enough to message me I would’ve paid in a heartbeat.

 

EIJI You were too busy ugly-crying. Should’ve seen the look on Bones’ face when I sent them that snap.

 

ASH Fucker… God (pours himself more alcohol). Goddammit.

 

EIJI So I win?

 

ASH No, fucker shoot me. Jesus Christ, I should never listen to past me.

 

EIJI Stop saying things on the top of your head then. You were always so damn impulsive when it comes to me. That’s why you nearly died, remember?

 

ASH At least we’re not together, alright?

 

EIJI (Drinks the rest from his cup) I guess that’s what I hated about you. Never good at articulating the truth. Always keeping me in the dark, scared of the monsters who’d end up eating you up anyway-

 

ASH It’s not like that.

 

EIJI We never did progress beyond ‘that’.

 

(Long silence)

 

EIJI (Pours self more whisky) It’s my turn then. We’re still barely halfway. So who did you date after?

 

ASH After what?

 

EIJI Me, you dummy.

 

ASH How the fuck did you know about that?

 

EIJI Man, I can’t be friends with my ex but there are no rules that I can’t be friends with my ex’s friends. You also stopped texting me for awhile.

 

ASH Geez, we’re no longer together. Just a co-worker, nothing serious. He still had his wife and kids.

 

EIJI Ok, thank you. That’s enough information.

 

ASH (Laughs) Thought you were going to judge me.

 

EIJI I forgive past you because present you know how to use his head this time (drinks more alcohol). He wasn’t the only one, right?

 

ASH I only dated three people. They’re not important (drinks his share).

 

(Silence)

 

ASH My turn then. You didn’t tell me what the reason was why you went with Ibe-san. The real reason. None of the flowery bullshit.

 

EIJI (Laughs) Is it really that important now?

 

ASH Just curious. Couldn’t really make sense of it.

 

EIJI You want the traumatic angle or the tame-for-the-ears angle?

 

ASH Traumatic one. Shoot me.

 

EIJI (Drinks) I nearly decapitated myself with my dad’s motorcycle.

 

ASH (Clicks his tongue) Well, ouch.

 

EIJI (Laughs and lifts his cup to his direction). More please.

 

(Ash obeys and drops the rest of the contents in his cup)

 

EIJI (Drinks) I forgot honestly what triggered it (laughs). All I can tell you is it isn’t the most comfortable way to die. Beats nearly sleeping to death in the library. None of them can believe it either. My family, Ibe-san… None of them believed it wasn’t the first time too. I thought it was just because of my early retirement but (stops and then titters) it wasn’t only that. Can I admit something Ash? It’s my turn, right?

 

ASH (Nods)

 

EIJI (Drinks again) Sometimes, I have these shitty thoughts. It’s not as morbid as before but I keep asking myself if I have a right to breathe. Like it’s better that I stop- consuming oxygen so others can... I get those kinds of thoughts. It got worst when my father was confined. Then my varsity career sunk in front of my eyes. I’ve forgiven my family now for reacting like I was insane for committing those things. Ibe-san understood me, I guess. That’s why he had me get away from it all. But then I met you.

 

ASH If you don’t want to continue, you don’t have to tell me everything.

 

EIJI You’ve become quite… empathic now.

 

ASH (Laughs) You think so? Even now, huh? (Wipes his eyes) I was supposed to comfort you, not the other way around.

 

EIJI (Laughs) God, you were always the crybaby y’know.

 

ASH Only when it’s the two of us.

 

EIJI Is that right? (Laughs) You were the first to open up to me, to tell you the truth. I don’t have the courage to do that. Through our entire run, I couldn’t even tell you this. More please (Takes his cup and drinks some more). I think I’m about to be sick.

 

ASH Give me that then (takes Eiji’s empty cup). You should lie down.

 

EIJI Thank you, Aslan.

 

(Eiji plops his head on the pillow. Ash tilts the contents on his clear plastic cup and rummages on his bag for some medicine and a water bottle.)

 

EIJI I’m sorry. I’m still terrible at this.

 

ASH You’re not. Come on, here’s something to make the headache better (has him drink a pill. Gives him water.) You should go to the bathroom if you need to let it out.

 

EIJI I guess I drank more than I could stomach.

 

ASH Not exactly the best term to use, but it’s passable I guess (laughs).

 

EIJI You still remember your Izumo-ben?

 

ASH Not much. Never really had any use for it since uh...

 

EIJI I’m already breaking the rules (covers mouth). Shit, I think I need to go to the bathroom.

 

(Ash accompanies Eiji. Both take slow steps towards the bathroom. Eiji heaves.)

 

EIJI This is embarrassing.

 

ASH Nah, stop putting the blame on yourself for what other idiots did.

 

EIJI Right back at you.

 

(Ash and Eiji laugh. Eiji heaves some more. Ash dampens a washcloth from his water bottle and washes Eiji’s face.)

 

EIJI To be honest, I thought a funeral would bring us together. Not a wedding (laughs).

 

ASH Wait a few years. I bet the snake would do the honours.

 

EIJI (titters) Still such a ray of sunshine.

 

ASH Here, drink up you klutzy lug (waits as he takes the meds and drinks more water)

 

EIJI You’re still not drunk?

 

ASH I thought I’d be the one asking questions.

 

EIJI You’re goddamn talented at pissing people off, you know that?

 

ASH A vulgar _onii-chan_ is a normal _onii-chan._ Take a pick: The icky question or the ickier question?

 

EIJI The icky one thank you.

 

ASH Playing safe’s gonna cost you. So, when did you forgive the snake?

 

EIJI Hmm, what’s so icky about that? Yut Lung? You and Sing make such a big deal out of it. I invited him to dinner a week after we ended things. Nothing special. He asked me to come with him when he had his hair cut. Pretty sure you check his Instagram, don’t you?

 

ASH I thought you said you won’t forgive him.

 

EIJI He didn’t finish you off so those are bonus points already (laughs). Dunno. I guess breaking up with you was for the best. Wouldn’t be able to really take off with my photography career without you casting a shadow everywhere. No more fighting or crying at night… Are you mad I said that?

 

ASH No (downs his entire cup).

 

EIJI Uhuh. Dunno, I mean moving out felt like removing sacks of bricks off my shoulders. It shaved off signs of ageing too. It just made me… care less of stuff that I thought mattered? Yut Lung’s one. Sing and his marriage to Aki-chan too.

 

ASH You still refused to visit the library.

 

EIJI Hey! I went there three months ago. And I can go wherever I want without you breathing down my neck.

 

ASH It’s like I’m the only one with issues. Don’t underestimate your shit too. You never aired out your complaints.

 

EIJI I guess for me, an angry lynx is a scary lynx. It was more a force of habit… I tend to compare myself to you. I know it’s wrong but boy, remember when your boss asked me five times if I was your partner? Five times. He was about to ask me until you gave him my business card.

 

ASH And I thought I was hard on myself.

 

EIJI It was easier when we had that drug thing going on. Now that our situation isn’t based on life and death… I dunno. Maybe we didn’t try hard enough. Which… brings me to my next question (laughs)

 

ASH What a spiel (laughs).

 

(Eiji playfully punches Ash’s shoulder. Ash assists him on the bed. Makes a show of putting a blanket over him.

 

EIJI (Laughs) Gosh, stop attacking my self-esteem. So 14th question: If you could become something else, what would you be?

 

ASH Here we go again with the beauty pageant Q & A’s (laughs). At least that didn’t change about you (stares at Eiji).

 

EIJI I got you speechless didn’t I?

 

ASH Get out of here (snorts) God… anything but a gun. Hmm, maybe a cat? That would be an obvious answer… (laughs). I guess I’ll be the ocean.

 

EIJI So you can be the drown your enemies? Crank up a storm and tsunamis?

 

ASH Nah, I guess I just like the colour. Would want to be the person to make people feel at ease. Not just a way for them to get their adrenaline rush. It had been always like that.

 

EIJI (Silent)

 

ASH I’m not blaming you. You were my adrenaline rush too even before we became official.

 

EIJI Your voice is awfully calm.

 

ASH Jesus (pours himself a drink).

 

EIJI I like the ocean too. Especially during twilight.

 

(Stillness. Ash drinks some more.)

 

ASH If we were the last people on earth, would you consider doing it with me?

 

EIJI (Laughs) That’s the 15th one right?

 

ASH (Nods) Fuck, that came out wrong-

 

EIJI I don’t mind actually (Grins) Wanna do it right now?

 

ASH Woah samurai boy-

 

EIJI You often take things seriously when it comes to fucking (laughs). But yeah, who wouldn’t want to do you?

 

ASH Don’t say that geez.

 

EIJI You act like a teenager, even now. Your babysitters should follow onii-chan’s footsteps and stop spoiling you too much.

 

ASH What about now though?

 

EIJI What?

 

ASH Doing it now.

 

EIJI You’re drunk, Ash. Let’s finish wrapping this up so we can hit the road early.

 

ASH Always the party pooper.

 

EIJI Okay party fucker… Next question: How’s Buddy?

 

ASH You can’t have him.

 

EIJI He’d like Japan more. And Sing told me you keep forgetting to feed him.

 

ASH Shut up, you gave him to me.

 

EIJI He’s already old, right? He deserves to spend his last days with me, inhaling the fresh air, eating freshly-done meals-

 

ASH I cook his meals ok? I’ve learned how to cook some shit since you left.

 

EIJI Oh really? Like what?

 

ASH Salad…

 

EIJI (Laughs) Gosh, well, that’s an improvement.

 

ASH I sure am, you judgmental bastard. And Buddy’s mine. I gave him a bath before sending him off to Nadia to play with her kids.

 

EIJI Heard you’d be the godfather of Lie-kun too.

 

ASH More kids to worry about.

 

EIJI Don’t forget, Ibe-san and Eiko-san are marrying too.

 

ASH Can Mrs. Ibe even manage though. She’s a granny already right?

 

EIJI They’re thinking of adopting.

 

ASH Oh god, more headaches. Spare me. The twins already are killing me over in Chinatown.

 

EIJI They’ve been on and off for years too. I was sweating buckets along with Aki-chan. Thought Ibe-san wouldn’t push through.

 

ASH And they did.

 

EIJI (Laughs) Yeah they did.

 

(Eiji looks up at the ceiling.)

 

ASH Do you think they’ll end up like us one day?

 

EIJI They didn’t rush things through. And neither of them is an ex-gang leader.

 

ASH Good point.

 

(Silence. Eiji keeps staring at the ceiling.)

 

EIJI I hope they’d get through it though. I honestly want Ibe-san to be happy.

 

ASH You’re not scared you’d end up like him one day? Getting married at what, 40?

 

EIJI I… actually I almost did. Three days ago.

 

ASH No fucking way. You fucking broke the rules.

 

EIJI Geez you always did like jumping to conclusions Ash. I’m not dating anyone now.

 

ASH Was this- Was this that Nobu bastard you keep telling Sing about?

 

EIJI Gosh, so you do use Sing’s number to message me!

 

ASH Sometimes. You never told Sing about him though.

 

EIJI If you want to know so damn bad, he’s not like you. He’s ordinary, alright? Typical pampered Japanese klutz like yours truly.

 

ASH So what the hell happened?

 

EIJI Remember that talk about us having kids and you refused?

 

ASH So you told him, and he refused.

 

EIJI It’s the other way round. We were driving along Kanagawa after I picked him up from work and he asked me if I wanted to have kids. I didn’t answer him right away. Then he proposed to me three days ago. I broke up with him then. It’s… We’ve been together for four years. It wasn’t like a carnival ride like y’know (points at Ash then himself) but I didn’t have complaints. He lived in Yamagata… but we made it work (laughs). Didn’t know what came over me to reject him outright. He kept asking if we can meet up too but… (scratches his head) I’m not really good at confrontations.

 

(Ash pours the last few contents in the bottle)

 

ASH You just don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. That’s a part of you that never changed.

 

EIJI No. I’m just really selfish. I don’t want people to say bad things about me. I don’t have a thick skin like you do.

 

ASH You said my skin is so delicate and easy to bruise.

 

EIJI You know what I’m talking about.

 

(Ash drinks)

 

EIJI It just came to me. Whenever we fought, you never really spoke ill of me. But I always blamed you when things got bad.

 

ASH You didn’t.

 

EIJI I did.

 

ASH (Drinks some more) Fine. So what? You were always the quickest to apologise. You never had much pride compared to me. You’re not a terrible person.

 

EIJI (Leans on Ash’s left shoulder) What’s your favourite memory of us?

 

ASH Jesus (laughs) you said you cared less about winning this game.

 

EIJI I’m winning then?

 

ASH It’s hard to choose.

 

EIJI I find it funny because most of the shit we had… Most of the things I remember involved a ton of drama (laughs).

 

ASH They’re the ones that evoke the most emotions so (laughs).

 

EIJI Remember when Buddy pooped on your shoes? I think that’s the most vivid one.

 

ASH (Laughs) Fucker.

 

EIJI You wanted to roast Buddy then. You had the biggest knife in the house ready. Then when he licked you and I cleaned your shoes you’d go to work without any problems.

 

ASH That’s because you already did the work for me. God, I don’t even remember that. Hmm… Your question is fucking hard.

 

(Eiji starts to laugh. Ash follows.)

 

ASH You always did enjoy watching me suffer.

 

EIJI Hey, I’m no sadist.

 

ASH Don’t say another word… This is so goddamn hard… (Leans back on the bedpost) I can’t think of anything! Give me a minute.

 

EIJI Y’know, I thought that you’d be breaking up with me when you returned home that time. Couldn’t even get a perfect shot when I was in the studio. But then I came home and you already made a meal for me. Your chicken had too much seasoning, and the vegetables weren’t steamed properly, but you did try.

 

ASH (Laughs) God, I don’t remember that at all. (Tries moving his head at Eiji’s direction). I only remember the old drama too.

 

(Ash drinks some more.)

 

ASH I guess the one that I can’t forget is the first time I gave you my gun (snickers). God, this is so predictable. You looked damn whole back then.

 

EIJI I’m still glad I took it.

 

(Silence. Ash swirls the last of his drink.)

 

EIJI I always thought we’d go down, guns blazing you know? Not like that. Your voice was so calm when I asked you in the library.

 

ASH We had it coming.

 

EIJI Dino would be fucking shocked (laughs).

 

ASH They spent a ton of money and time when all they needed was to let it pass.

 

EIJI I still have your Chucks. Never got to return them.

 

ASH Do whatever you want with them. Throw them away, I don’t care.

 

EIJI I still have our pictures during that time in Cape Cod. You know, the one where you wore this stupid face when Buddy slobbered you up.

 

ASH You do, huh? (Laughs)

 

EIJI Yeah. I miss Buddy.

 

ASH I miss you.

 

EIJI (Laughs) You were waiting for the right time to say that, weren’t you?

 

ASH Guess so (laughs)

 

(Eiji looks out the window. Light is starting to flood out. Ash looks out too.)

 

EIJI I miss us too.

 

(Stillness. Eiji then gets out of bed and takes out his phone from his bag.)

 

ASH What time is it? That’s my last question.

 

EIJI Almost 5 o’clock. Ibe-san’s texting us. Asks if we’re ok. We have to get going. I’ll take a bath first.

 

ASH Ok (yawns). Does your head hurt?

 

EIJI Not really (laughs). Weird.

 

(Eiji rummages for his clothes.)

 

ASH The sun’s almost up.

 

(Eiji looks up from the floor. Aslan sits on the bed.)

 

EIJI Yeah. The sun’s almost up.

 

(Both of them watch the sunrise, side-by-side. Growling sound.)

 

EIJI Someone’s hungry.

 

ASH Shut up.

 

EIJI Looks like you should take a bath first (stands up). What do you want for breakfast? I’ll try to grab something at 7-11.

 

ASH Natto.

 

EIJI Woah. You sure?

 

ASH Look, I’m not a snob as before.

 

EIJI Uhuh. You can text me if you change your mind (grabs his keys on the table). So, to wrap up our little game… Can I get a kiss for good luck?

 

ASH Seriously? (Laughs and stands up)

 

EIJI Hurry up. Wedding’s in four hours.

 

ASH (Kisses Eiji, pushes him to the bed) Plenty of time.

 

(Curtain falls)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [award-winning play](https://lonjaurigue.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/20-questions-ni-juan-ekis.pdf) (which is in Filipino though :( )
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments are lovely :) 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/angeldescndnt) and [tumblr](https://treesha-san.tumblr.com/)


End file.
